On Failure

Happy March, guys! I don’t know how many of you have managed to take a vacation lately, but I took Spring Break as a chance to recharge after a very hectic couple of weeks. I’ll talk about how to get great travel deals for a grad school budget soon, but in the mean time I’ll touch upon an important point that I think is great for every grad student, scientist in a cut-throat culture, or basically any person who takes on a challenging career. The big take-home message: Failure is not only inevitable, but it’s necessary. 

 

A shot during one of my sailing trips out in the Boston Harbor. Sailing has taught me a lot about navigating around and beyond mistakes.

I know this is a common message in a lot of popular graduation speeches (e.g. J.K. Rowling and Oprah Winfrey) but it’s important. We can’t celebrate success if we don’t embrace failure. You can argue that failure is an integral part of the human experience, and is just as important as success in any career and/or life journey. I’m talking about this now because I just received a “no” when I was really hoping for a “yes.” I am definitely bummed, but it’s nice to remind myself of how those icky “no’s” can be useful. Really, it’s all about perspective.

So, when we get a dreaded “no,” what are some guidelines we can use to find the hidden benefits? For simplicity, I’ll focus on career-defined failure, but I think a lot of the tenants in these guidelines can serve for any facet of life. Here are my thoughts on dealing with failure:

1.)   Don’t let the “no” define you. Perhaps you didn’t get the result that you wanted, even after so much effort, but that doesn’t mean that either you or your work is subpar. This is just one “no” out of a series of “no’s” and “yeses” that you’ll receive in your life. Just one “no” is not enough to decide the value of your effort, so don’t let it affect how hard you try in the future.

2.)   Statistics are always in your favor. No matter how much you fail, every time you try gets you one step closer to a success. It’s like playing the lotto, except your chances are better. Do a quick exercise: in one category of trying (e.g. applying to graduate school), how many tries ended up in success? Twenty-five percent? Ten percent? Five percent? If the answer is yes, then congratulations! Your odds are a lot higher than the lotto! And all it takes is four, or ten, or twenty times to get what you want! I love playing the lotto, but I love the chances of success even more, so don’t let one number in your statistics bring you down.

3.)   Embrace the negativity. Understandably, if you’ve worked really hard on something, you’re absolutely going to feel bad about a “no” after so much effort. Not everyone agrees with me on this, but I personally think that it’s great to embrace that upset because those feelings of disappointment are valid. That being said, it’s important to be gracious to yourself and move on after acknowledging those feelings. For me, moving on could mean crying it out, going for a walk, or grabbing a drink with friends or family.

4.)   Talk about it. Don’t be ashamed of any failure you receive in your career. Be open to discussing the difficult moments because it will help you process and connect with peers and mentors.

I hope this was a helpful read! Feel free to share strategies in the comment section below!